Esau was Jacob's twin brother. As the firstborn, he had the right to the family birthright, but he lost it to Jacob through carelessness inspired by fraudulent activities on Jacob's part. This got him angry and he threatened to kill his brother. At the behest of their mother, Jacob fled from his family to his mother's brother Laban where he lived for twenty years.
What are you running away from? What is in your past that has exiled you from family and friends? Or is it God? It is time to stop and come back and face your "Esau". You can't keep running from your past. Jacob, with the help of God, eventually calmed Esau down, so there is hope for you.
What you need to do is ask God for help. You have made a grievous mistake, but it can be redeemed. Stop letting your past chart the course of your life. Stop, think, and make up your mind to reconcile your past with your future today. Don't just keep thinking of what happened; make a move to rewrite history.
Read Ps. 51 for help.
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